(smart+jack)ass

But sometimes you get an asshole. A smartmouth that defies you on every corner. We’ve had our fair share of those, too. You know who I’m talking about. The ones that make you want to throw them out but you don’t because you are well mannered and everytime you later think about them you regret you didn’t.

There were once three polish girl. One blonde, a motherly type, quite tall with a heart as big as her smile was, the organizer of the trip, her best friend, a petite brunette with a fashion style even I envied (and I’m not really fashion conscientious) and a smartass. A pale girl with mousy brownish hair and in desperate need for some make-up enhancement. No judgement here, pure observation. She took the sunshine out of every conversation we tried to put to life. The two girls and we would have a laugh or two about all things slovenian, all things polish, all things common and even this blog. But the jerk-girl was able to find something negative in every topic. Even the least possible. The two were very curious about our greenhouse we had been building back then, about our constant need to grow more and more of our own food, buying locally grown produce and our support of local business’. How is this a bad thing, I ask you. But no, she was less than impressed, looking for loop holes, determined to find a glich in our plans. She even pointed out but that we still use water to rince the dishes. Even though it would be so victorious to say that we get our water from a well, I was so appalled I didn’t even reply. She got my very first negative reference and trust me, it was well deserved.

BUt this next guy, he was a real peach. I knew this one was going to be speacial from the time I read his request and looked at his profile. Even though it’s very, very important to read the profiles, children, sometimes people aren’t what they seem from how they describe themselves. I should have known better, he wrote he was “brutally honest”. Now, honesty is, by all means, always welcome in our home. People who speak the truth are always welcome in our home. But people who say that are brutally honest? Well, it intrigued me enough to accept even though I read his negative references. Besides claming brutal honesty, he was vegan, a yogi, consciously awaken, an ayurvedic practitioner, an animal rights fighter and so much more. It was written eloquently and sounding smart but with this annoying condescending tone. Or maybe I’m just picturing it now after knowing what I know. I’m quite curious, you know. I sometimes do things only to see what happens. So when he arrived and we were introducing each other, I happened to mention that orchards around here are getting damaged by young deer, interested which side he would choose, the trees or the dear. He picked the animals, he graciously explained to me, looking at me from way above, that trees were put there by men, so the animals have it worse than plants. SO, there! 

After that, the hits just kept coming. He would be really nice to Mitja and answer his questions normally, while he was snapping at me, more than once making me look bad for what I thought or said or believed. But I don’t really care about that, Mitja knows me all to well to fall for such crap. In the afternon I came from a shitty day at work and while we were having lunch, like I always do, I told my boyfriend about my day. This is how I unload, I discuss the daily highlights and lowpoints, that particular day was bad, way worse than an average day. I recall talking about this deucebag coworker that is an exeptional jerk and we have had a fight a few days before and was still talking lying trash behind my back. And while all the pressure from my days started to vanish, this smartass says ‘Aren’t you doing the exact same thing now? Talking behind his back?’ and grinned like some sort of a smartass Joker motherfucker. It’s the intent that matters in things like these, jerk-off. People always talk about people behind their backs, in school in history class you don’t do much else than talk about people behind their backs, but the idiot at work was lying, making things up about me with vicious intent, I was just sharing the details of my day with my boyfriend. Asswipe!

But of course, I didn’t say anything… And the remarks just kept coming. I didn’t react much, I just kept going on in the same pace. Me and Mitja cleared the table, washed the dishes, took the laundry out of the washing machine and hanged them out to dry, we talked, now in slovene since our guest left for the terrasse, and laughed, like usual really. Classic Eva in Mitja. After chores had been done, I think Mitja took the garbage out, I wanted to relax and take a fresh breath on the terrasse. But the guy welcomed me outside with these words: ‘I had to remove myself  because I couldn’t listened to your complaining anymore’. I was stunned! It litterally took the breath out of my lungs. Whole lot of lists of things came to mind that I could call him right there and then. Oh, I should have said this…Man, why didn’t I think of this then!? I should have said: ‘You had to remove yourself? You can proceed with removing yourself away from this terrasse and keep on removing yourself’. Damn, that would have been so cool. I remember I asked him if he was kicking me out of my own terrasse, calling him a jerk a few times and finally telling him that there is a HUGE difference between being honest and going out of your way to being a jerk! No yoga, no green tea or meditation helps with that. Jerk is a jerk is a jerk. I didn’t even bother with a reference, I figured some people might need one of those in their life, to teach them patience and acceptance. If one or two of them looses their temper, well… that’s not my problem, is it?

 

(it’s been a while, right? sorry, dear faithful reader, life kicked in a bit… )

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